With Christmas and the New Year round the corner, there will be a peak in activities; including end of year work gatherings, family reunions, travelling, and so on. This time of the year usually shakes us out of our comfort zone and our daily routines. For some of us, this could mean facing more intense mood changes; experiencing a mix of more fun as well as more anxiety. The fun part is great but what about the worry and anxiety bits? Do you wish to try a very simple practice to help reduce your unnecessary worries and anxieties? Then try this simple yet powerful mindfulness practice of Notice, Assess, Decide (NAD).
More about the NAD further below, but first a quick background as to why this simple practice can be helpful to everyone in any stressful situation, not just end of the year.
The Story of Our Thoughts
We all think, and no one really knows where the thoughts come from. Some thoughts are intentional, focused, constructive and creative, but most of the other thoughts are really wandering ones. These wandering thoughts have the tendency to turn into full-blown stories (dramas) with some sort of a familiar plot played by us, family, friends, colleagues and various other heroes and villains. The problem is that once the story gathers momentum, our body would not know the difference between reality and our imaginary full-blown drama. Our physiology starts to react to the story, we get worried and feel anxious as if something really bad is about to happen with a clear and present danger!
This might happen when someone advertently or inadvertently presses your buttons by saying something or ignoring you or cutting you in traffic or taking a contested parking spot in a busy shopping centre, and so on. As the chart below shows, if we are not mindful, we can quickly go to our autopilot mode and react to the other person or to ourselves. Each one of us may react in different ways in different circumstances; what is common though is that any such reaction is associated with negative feelings such as anger, resentment, powerlessness, sadness, guilt, shame and would most likely lead into worry and anxiety.
Keep calm and respond with NAD
On the other hand, being mindful will help us greatly to catch our thoughts as early as possible before they gather momentum and be able to take charge rather than fall victim to our own thoughts. Do a quick assessment of whether the thoughts are of service to you right now in this moment and in this specific situation or not. I emphasise “quick assessment” because you don’t want to overanalyse, it is usually a simple yes or no. Then decide whether to go with the thoughts or not. If yes, great, think deeper and more focused. If not, simply let go of the thoughts by not following them. Do not try to stop your thoughts because they gather even more energy and momentum.
Let the clouds go, you are the sky
A helpful metaphor is to visualise your thoughts and emotions as clouds in the sky. They come and go, but the sky remains; and you are the sky.
In this metaphor, letting go means knowing that you are not the clouds, you are not your thoughts or emotions, you are the holder of those and can stay while letting them come and go.
Next time, take a breath, close your eyes and visualise your thoughts and emotions as clouds and practice to remain who you truly are, the sky.
Even if you decide to go with the thoughts in a stressful situation, at least it is a conscious decision and the resulting stress would be “good” stress or what is called eustress. You are really responding to the situation rather than reacting to it like when you were in autopilot mode and not mindful.
Simple but maybe not easy
This practice is simple but not necessarily easy. Meaning that it is not complicated, but needs sustained practice on your part to be increasingly more effective. So, don’t get disappointed if you don’t get quick results. Keep going and you’ll reap the rewards.
Well, why not give it a go and check it out for yourself?